If Only I Had Enough Time - Weak Sauce Excuses and Writing

Gosh, books are hard. Aren't they? They're so long, for one thing. Have you noticed? Thousands of words, at least. And not even the same word. All different words, put together, to make stories that are supposed to make sense. Flippin' heck.

Writing a book. That's something people do. Why not you? You're too busy, probably. You'd like to. You'd love to. You easily could, as well. It's easy. You just don't have the time, what with being so busy and all.

Or ... are you too busy? Really? Or are you, in fact, just putting it off without realizing? Hm.

There have been some fantastically busy people who wrote books. Churchill did it, and got a Nobel Prize. He was also basically a very large sausage with a cigar in his mouth who beat the Nazis through a serious of well timed quips.

JK Rowling was a single mother with a job. Neil Gaiman appears to exist in some sort of perpetual whirlwind of creativity and action, and he has, like, a billion books coming out this year. John Buchan (The Thirty-Nine Steps) was also called  His Excellency the Right Honourable the Lord Tweedsmuir, PC GCMG GCVO CH, and was Governor General of Canada (oh my gosh what) when he wasn't writing. Wow. Tolkien was a full time professor. Tolstoy founded thirteen schools. Hemimngway appears to have crashed, shot at or fallen in love with pretty much everything you can imagine.

Busy folk, busy writers.

So do you have enough time to write?

I have all these ideas, just haven't written them down yet.

Awesome. Ideas fuel books. But don't kid yourself. You haven't even started yet. It's like standing at the starting line and boasting about running a marathon.

I have a full time job / kids / I'm a member of a cult that doesn't believe in time / I'm the King of Spain.

Your life is your own, and that's awesome, as well - but it doesn't make you busier than a lot of people. get up half an hour earlier, or take a shorter lunch break, and write.

I can't type.

Then write it by hand and learn to type later

I want to write. I do. But I'm worried it isn't going to be any good.

It isn't. it'll be pretty bad, to begin with. You'll make it better, though, by working on it. Get it down first, though.

I'm worried that the story in my head is too complicated to do justice to. It scares me / excites me / intimidates and overwhelms me.

Baby steps are key. Write a page, then a chapter, and keep track of subplots. Take your time. Take years. Take me in your arms and tell me I'm pretty, or something.

I'm a genius of unparalleled proportions. I will write it when I'm ready / when the world deserves it. I am a god.

No you're not, you're a dick.

I am dead.

You are excused from writing your book.

Write something today.


  1. Brilliant piece. Nicely said. Right now I, along with my three partners, are launching an ethical fashion company, running a blog and doing our day jobs. I wonder what we used to do with our time? A x


    1. Thank you - and good luck with the ethical fashion